Tuesday, August 16, 2011

quirks


i've gotten used to myself by this point in my life, so it's hard to pick out specific things unless someone (like my wife) picks up on them.
let's see. i don't drive on the freeway. (but i will the interstate--in a city this size that means driving 10 miles to the edge of town & then finding an onramp.)
my sack lunch has slowly evolved but it's not that different from when i first started doing that, in 1986 i guess it was. enough crunchy & chewy things that it takes me 30 minutes to eat it. i always read while i eat, with my shoes off if this is possible.
i always carry two folded sheets of paper in my shirt pocket & 3 pens in different colors, so i can note down any thoughts i have worth preserving. i alternate colors, & when i cross something off (since this includes practical lists as well) i use a contrasting color. i used to have a system whereby i transferred these when they got full, to a categorized set of notebooks. i don't have time for that anymore, but i do keep the old notesheets with a faint hope of going back & catching up someday.
my fashion defiance has gone so far as to include socks with sandals & wearing contrasting plaids. (these effects i actually like.) i don't remember when i started fixing my own clothes when they got holes in them. sometimes i just use 2 or 3 safety pins, instead of sewing it.
for a long time i wore a black wool cape in cold weather. i still have it.
i read several books at once. for example, at work i read 30 minutes of one book, then 30 minutes of another. at home i alternate, but with a little more leeway. i try to be reading 2 contrasting eras, or subjects, or styles. once during my college days i remember i was reading Plato & Mein Kampf at the same time.
i like to make synthesizer music while in a semitrance state; also drumming, though neither one of these resembles ordinary music very closely. i've never been able to play in a real band, though, because i never do things the same way twice.
sometimes in my poetry i will use madeup words, or words of phrases from several languages, or no syntax English--not to be confusing but because this is the only way i know how to follow what my thought becomes.
i collect esoteric symbols & scraps of religions, ktp, not for what they mean but what they suggest to me. it's kind of like a magpie mythology, without stories or characters, & everything i create has a part in it, as well as everything significant that has happened to me.
(oh well, that part is just like any other artist isn't it?)
when i was young, in idleness i used to be constantly drawing with my eyes, tracing out shapes, arbitrary though they were. later i became more verbal, & i think there is an analogous verbal activity constantly going on--all apart from my actual thoughts & perceptions--like a subterranean current i can draw on at will.
what interests me is like sticking your hand out a car window at speed, feeling the air like a liquid. that's what i write about. interacting with that current.


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